


The Genius vs. IKEA

by betheflame



Series: Shorts & Drabbles 2019 [17]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: BAMF Michelle Jones, BAMF Pepper Potts, Domestic Fluff, F/M, Fluff, Gen, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, canon if you squint
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-31
Updated: 2019-12-31
Packaged: 2021-02-25 20:47:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21771685
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/betheflame/pseuds/betheflame
Summary: Tony promised he'd buy the furniture for Peter's first apartment. He grumps about it being from IKEA, but really, how hard can assembling furniture be?
Relationships: Michelle Jones/Peter Parker, Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Series: Shorts & Drabbles 2019 [17]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1432378
Comments: 16
Kudos: 122
Collections: Irondad Fic Exchange 2019





	The Genius vs. IKEA

**Author's Note:**

  * For [WhimsicalEthnographies](https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhimsicalEthnographies/gifts).



> For WhimsicalEthnographies, who asked for Peter and Tony going college shopping at IKEA and getting lost. I threw in Badass!Pepper for good measure and a heaping dose of both MJ and Morgan. Hope you enjoy! 
> 
> Thanks to Robin for organizing such a fun event.

“Honestly, Pepper, how hard can it be?”

Tony wasn’t looking at his wife or he would have seen her bite back a grin as she chopped chives for the scones she was attempting to make that afternoon.

“It’s just shopping, for fuck’s sake,” Tony continued, tapping away at his phone and absentmindedly drinking a smoothie from his place at the kitchen table. “I told May we’d be outfitting the kid’s first apartment and I meant it. Not my problem that he wants subpar Scandanavian when I coulda commissioned-”

“Tony,” Pepper cut him off. “MJ explained all of this. Everyone else in their house is going to have IKEA furniture and Peter has enough things that make him stand out without having to explain to anyone coming over for pizza why his couch is worth more than their rent.”

Tony cut his eyes to Pepper’s and scowled at the mirth he found in them. “You’re taking pleasure in my pain.”

“Oh, for sure, since, what, 1999?”

“MORGAN,” he called in retaliation.

He heard Pepper snort from the kitchen island but conveniently ignored her as Morgan turned down the volume on the TV and called back.

“Do you want to go shopping with me and Peter and Michelle?” For some reason, unclear to any adult, MJ was okay with Morgan calling her ‘Michelle’. Any of the rest of them tried it? The veil of cool indifference wouldn’t waver, and she’d respond that her name was MJ. Morgan called her Michelle and the older girl would give Morgan a high-five and start chattering away about the latest Disney Channel show Morgan was into.

Mysteries abound in parenthood, Tony and Pepper supposed. Mysteries abound.

“Do I have to wear shoes?”

Tony and Pepper exchanged grins. Morgan had been on a shoe boycott all summer and had all the callouses to prove it.

“Yeah, pumpkin, you need shoes,” Tony called back. Anticipating the protest, he continued, “but I bet Michelle will put your hair into a braid crown again.”

Knowing he won the argument before the last word was out of his mouth - and was satisfied to hear the patter of feet signaling Morgan’s movement - he looked back at Pepper.

“It’s shopping for flat pack furniture. We’ll be home in an hour.”

* * *

“We’ve been here foreeeeevvvvveeerrrr,” Morgan moaned to MJ, who checked her watch and affirmed.

“Well, at least we moved on from your dad trying to buy us an entirely new kitchen and lecturing the poor IKEA man about the lack of automation.” It had been really awkward when the part-time employee realized that he was arguing the merits of technology with Tony Stark. MJ had threatened about seventeen people to delete the videos from their phones. Poor kid didn’t need to become a meme.

Her life had been so much simpler before she fell for Peter Parker.

Morgan dramatically rolled her eyes and flopped back onto the mattress she and MJ had perched themselves on while Tony insisted that Peter try every mattress in the store to ensure optimal support and comfort.

“MJ,” Peter called, a tone of desperation coloring his voice, “which one do you want?”

“Which what do I want?”

“Mattress,” Tony replied, bouncing slightly on a MORGEDAL foam number that appeared to be in the final three.

“I don’t need a mattress,” MJ replied.

“As in you won’t let me buy one for some reason only clear to yourself, or as in you’ve already purchased one?” Tony enquired.

“As in I don’t need a mattress, Stark,” MJ replied evenly, raising her eyebrow in a challenge.

“MJ, you’re getting a mattress, please just...” Peter pleaded, “please just pick one.”

“Why am I getting a mattress?”

“Because you’re family,” Tony said, almost dismissively, as though it was the most normal thing in the world. “Have you not been paying attention? Shit, did you miss the dresser and the desk, too?”

MJ cast her eyes desperately to Peter, who smiled weakly. Morgan, little empath that she was, looked over at her dad.

“Daddy, are you being a bully again?”

Tony blinked a few times and then looked over at MJ, seeming to register the frustration on her face. “Evidence points to this, yes, Morguna.”

“Then stop,” Morgan said simply. “I’m hungry and Michelle said there are meatballs. Can we get meatballs?”

 _Thank Christ for Morgan_ , MJ thought as she grabbed Peter’s hand. They all agreed to take a meatball break before tackling office furniture.

* * *

“I just, I’m just not…” MJ struggled for words later that evening when the pair were back at May and Peter’s for the night.

“He’s a lot,” Peter admitted. “I know. I’m sorry.”

“No, Parker,” MJ corrected quickly. “No apologies. I love that you have this dude who loves you, who keeps you safe because your job still scares the shit out of me. It’s just that he’s a lot.”

As it was approximately 14,000 degrees inside Peter and May’s apartment - the window AC units could not keep up with the heat in the middle of August - the pair were on the fire escape just outside Peter’s window. They’d spent most of the summer on that perch, actually, and had found ways to make it quite comfortable.

A few sets of throw pillows - a few that Peter even attached to the wall with his webs to make backrests - and a cooler full of drinks and snacks had gotten the pair through much of the summer between graduating high school and starting college. Most nights, Peter left MJ on the escape when he went for patrol and returned to her hours later and all that had changed was that she was several hundred pages further in her book.

“Did you know the cornea is the only part of the human body that isn’t fed by blood?” she said one night in July as he met her back on the escape.

“I did not,” he responded and twisted himself so his head was laying in her lap. They followed the same routine each night. She’d idly play with his hair, he’d tell her stories of what he saw, they’d both fall asleep in his room in some configuration that MJ really, really hoped signaled to Peter that she was okay if they just stayed friends - even though that was a huge freaking lie but she was too scared to say anything - and Peter really, really hoped the same for the same reasons.

“It needs oxygen to be healthy,” MJ responded.

“Huh,” Peter replied absently, his corneas blocked from air by his closed eyelids and something in MJ’s heart twisted.

“Bad night?”

“Found some kids living under that bridge by the Rosedale station. They’d been there a while.”

“Oh,” MJ breathed quietly.

“They were… that’s not the life any of them deserve,” Peter said, eyes still closed but tears slipping out of them.

“No, Parker, it’s not,” MJ affirmed.

“So I called Mr. Stark and he’s gonna send Mr. Falcon and Cap down to have a chat with them, and at least bring food and water.”

“You did good, Parker,” MJ reminded him. “That’s the deal, remember. You get the tech if you don’t try to solve all the problems on your own.”

“I know,” Peter signed. “Tell me something else weird.”

The pattern continued for the rest of the summer. By the time it was time to move into their own apartment - closer to a subway line that led to Columbia than May’s was - both of them were itchy to confess their feelings but neither was quite brave enough to do it.

* * *

“I am a goddamn genius, Pepper,” Tony snarled out through gritted teeth. “And I am being defeated by flat pack furniture.”

“Well,” Pepper said, stifling a laugh and re-tying Morgan’s shoes before the girl ran off again to ‘help’ MJ in the living room and then addressing her husband. “There, chicken, go be helpful. Is it possible you should read the instructions?”

“There is no way they mean for me to put this entire bed together with a disposable allen wrench.”

“I think they do, actually,” Pepper replied as she idly picked up the instructions from the floor and flipped through the packet. “It’s basically their brand.”

“Well, their brand is stupid,” Tony sulked.

“That is absolutely the conclusion you should draw from this,” Pepper affirmed. “Not at all that you’re being a child.”

Tony opened his mouth to retort when May and Peter appeared in the doorframe, laden with bags from Target.

“Oh, wow, Mr. Stark, that looks -” Peter observed the mess and searched for a word.

“It looks like he’s making it more difficult than it needs to be,” May replied and dumped the bags in the corner by the closet and made quick work of unpacking a shower curtain, bath mat, and other assorted bathroom items. “Tony, just read the damn manual and stop being yourself. You have two other beds to build.” She said before she swept out of the room and headed to set up the communal bathroom.

“Two? Is there a guest room?”

Peter looked confused. “No, it’s me, MJ, and Ned.”

“You and MJ have separate rooms?”

“Why wouldn’t we?” Peter looked desperately at Pepper for help, but it was too late.

Tony sat back on his haunches and looked up from the particle board surrounding him. “You’ve been together for, like, two years?” His voice bounced off the walls of the semi-empty apartment and Peter’s face quickly matched his Spiderman suit.

“NO,” Peter said quickly, shaking his head and frantically looking over his shoulder towards the kitchen. “No, Mr. Stark, no, we’re not, no, we’re -”

“Are you kidding me?” Tony looked genuinely shocked. “Pep, did we know this?”

“Did we know that they’re not dating,” Pepper looked directly at Peter as she replied, “yes, we did know that.” She lowered her voice to add, “but we disagree with Peter’s assessment of the situation.”

“Pepper, please,” Peter begged and Pepper nodded. They’d had this argument many, many times.

“So, yes, Anthony,” Pepper said at full volume. “You have all three beds to finish building. Peter and I will get started on the dresser in MJ’s room.”

Tony shot a confused look at his wife, who twisted her mouth in the way that said he should trust her and keep his own mouth shut, so he went back to loudly complaining about IKEA and begging Morgan to bring him snacks.

* * *

_StarkChat: #Pretendtern_

_Mr. Stark: Pete, I’m up near Columbia today, wanna grab a burger?_

_Peter: I have lab until 7:30, but after that? Is that okay? If you can’t I get it._

_Mr. Stark: I’m officially giving you three more weeks to believe me that I like you and want to spend time with you and for you to call me Tony._

_Mr. Stark: Or I’m hanging mistletoe in every fucking doorframe of your house, sending Ned on a vacation, and forcing you to confess your feelings for MJ._

_Peter: Please don’t._

_Mr. Stark: Chop chop, Petey pie. Friday just set the countdown clock._

* * *

Adjusting to college life had been much easier than MJ had ever expected. Some of it was that she was living with her two favorite idiots from high school - even if she could push Ned off a cliff with joy sometimes - and some of it was that her life included more of the Stark family than she’d ever anticipated. The summer hanging on Peter’s fire escape had allowed her to get close to May and they’d developed a kind of sister bond that MJ hadn’t even known she’d needed.

It was great to have someone who understood how terrifying it was to love Peter, how worried MJ was whenever he was wearing the backpack that she knew held the suit, how much his doofy smile just made her happy. But there was no way she was ever telling May how she felt about Peter.

Which was why having Pepper Potts figure it out on her own was both terrifying and empowering.

_StarkChat: MJ & Pepper_

_MJ: Do you have like 30 minutes this week so I can run my final exam by you for intro to marketing?_

_Pepper: Only if you let me buy you food at the same time. Morgan reported in that all you guys have is cereal and discount ramen and my mom sensors are going off._

_MJ: she’s a little snitch._

_MJ: I let her into my house to do a frozen sing along and she tattles on my nutritional choices._

_Pepper: She wanted me to send you groceries because she was afraid you guys just didn’t know there were other foods. Elementary school logic is strong, MJ._

_MJ: I just checked your little schedule app thing and it says you’re free tomorrow at 3. Can i claim that?_

_Pepper: It’s yours. I’ll come to you - the Pret around the corner from the apartment work?_

_MJ: See you then._

MJ threw her phone on the couch next to her and sighed deeply before getting lost in her final assignment for her Literary Texts and Critical Methods class. She’d declared as a double major in English and Communications and was deeply regretting that decision now that it was finals time. Peter kept reminding her that she was only panicking because she was a perfectionist, not because she wasn’t up to the tasks. She was trying hard to believe him.

A door slamming a few hours later broke her from her reverie and she looked up to see the love of her life Peter standing in the door, his face simply radiating exhaustion.

“Pizza and _The Mandalorian_?” she asked and he nodded, flopping down on the couch next to her.

“I can’t make the thing in the model do the thing it needs to do,” he mumbled, pinching the bridge of his nose in a motion that MJ had seen Tony do about fourteen times just that weekend. She stifled a giggle since he never appreciated her calling him IronSon, even though he was.

“Did you ask Tony?”

“I need to figure it out on my own,” Peter replied without even looking at her. She rolled her eyes - not that he could see - as she punched the pizza order into DoorDash. “I know you’re rolling your eyes.”

“You don’t know me,” she sassed back, teasing in her tone.

“I do,” he replied, but there was something in his tone she couldn’t quite place. “I do. And you know me.”

She shifted her body so that they could make eye contact. “What’s in your brain, Bug Boy?”

“You,” he said, his voice cracking just a little.

“Me?”

“You’re on it a lot,” Peter confessed.

MJ blinked a few times at him and then took a breath. _What would Pepper do?_ “Same.”

The exhaustion on Peter’s face seemed to melt at that word and he smiled so widely that all those stupid cliches about his smile lighting up a room became true. He reached out and took her hand, lacing their fingers together.

“Good.”

They were quiet for a minute until Peter giggled a little.

“What?”

“Tony called this.”

She smiled. “So did Pepper.”

They both laughed and MJ tentatively rearranged herself so that she was leaning against Peter, who then let out a breath she didn’t know he’d been holding.

“I have an idea,” she said softly, and dug for her phone.

* * *

“Mama, your phone is lighting up,” Morgan called from the living room.

Tony and Pepper were in the kitchen, making a few preparations for the news they were gonna share with Morgan at dinner that night. Tony raised an eyebrow at Pepper who gestured for him to retrieve her phone. His laugh preceded him into the kitchen.

“What?”

He showed her the photo that MJ had just texted, showing her and Peter with their hands clasped and Peter kissing MJ on her temple. It was achingly intimate, but the caption was pure MJ.

_MJ: Don’t tell Stark, but you guys were both right. When we’re ready for a bigger bed, though, we’ll build it ourselves._

“Good to know those parent instincts are still in tip top shape,” he placed a gentle hand over Pepper’s abdomen. “Gonna come in handy for number two.”

“Number four,” she replied, placing a gentle kiss to his lips. “Well, number three, for you. I’m calling MJ.”

He pretended to look hurt and then asked what he could do to finish the preparations. She gave him a few quick tasks and then told him to grab Morgan and tell her to wash up.

“Will that be all, Mama Potts,” he winked.

“That will be all, Papa Stark.”

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on [Twitter](http://www.twitter.com/betheflame1) or [Tumblr](http://betheflame.tumblr.com) for more on these yahoos. You can also submit prompts and cajole me into writing faster - it usually works. If you're on Discord, I'm definitely there, too, and probably hanging in the [Stony](https://discord.gg/z5WSqbS) or [Stuckony](https://discord.gg/jtXcc3n) servers.


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